Poison
by DreamsOfATeenager
Summary: Annaliese is troubled. She has no friends, an abusive father and a petrified mother. Who will she turn to when it all gets too much? Featuring the boys of All Time Low in a high school setting. Alex Gaskarth, Jack Barakat, Rian Dawson, Zack Merrick
1. Chapter 1

**_Well, hello there! It's been a while, right? Months. So I started writing this story a while ago, and realised I never posted it to this website, so I thought I would in case there was anyone still out there who would be interested in reading something I had written. Let me know if you're reading this and whether (or not) you like it in a review. Constructive criticism is always welcome, just please don't be rude about it. This story is not yet complete, and as I write this I have uploaded only four chapters so far, so if you're wondering why it stops so suddenly, it's because I'm yet to write the next chapter. I'll stick in some little author's notes here and there, but I hope to keep on top of this story as I've really enjoyed getting back into writing. _**

**_If you are reading, thank you. And if you are a regular reader of mine, then thank you for your continued support. It is very much appreciated. _**

**_Onwards!_**

* * *

Chapter 1

"Annaliese, can you please focus on the task at hand?" Mr Capon's decrepit voice broke me out of my daydream trance and brought me back to reality. His brow was furrowed making his already prominent wrinkles even more defined.

"Yeah, sorry Sir." I sat up straight in my seat whilst Becca and her minions sniggered at how I had spaced out again. I tend to do that a lot. Imagination is where I'm safe. Reality is where people get hurt.

My name is Annaliese McCoy, and I'm a senior in high school. I've been fairly incognito throughout both Middle and High school so far. I don't have any friends, only acquaintances in a few classes. No one I can hang out with outside of school. That's fine though, I don't want any. I don't want to be attached to someone like that. They'd think I was a freak soon enough. What's the point in getting attached to someone if they're just going to leave again? I lived with my mum and dad. I loved my mum to bits. My dad; not so much. I didn't have any brothers or sisters. Just me. That's how I like it. It's always been me, on my own.

As the clock ticked by slower than I think it ever had, I decided to just get my head down and start the essay on the civil war that Mr Capon had set. I think that if anyone was suited to teach the civil war it would be Mr Capon; the oldest teacher in the entire state of Maryland. He probably fought in it. Once I had started the essay and forgot about the time, it seemed to go by so much faster. The bell signalling the end of the school day tolled and everyone rushed out of their seats and out of the door. I wrapped up the sentence I was writing and shut my notebook.

"Wait, Miss McCoy. I'd like a word, if I may." Mr Capon stopped me as I was about to walk out. I nodded and made my way to the front to stand in front of his desk. "Now, Annaliese; I know you have quite the active imagination but it seems to be getting in the way of you paying attention in my lessons. I can't comment on your other lessons, but I can assure you that spacing out in every lesson is not going to get you the grades I know you deserve. You're a bright girl. Don't let that go to waste."

"Yes sir. Sorry sir." I bowed my head slightly and left the room. I was always as polite as possible to my elders, a trait I had acquired at home. The hallway was bustling with teenagers excited for the end of the day. A group of jocks ran past me, one of them knocking me slightly. Luckily I had a tight enough grip on my books so that they didn't fall out of my arms and onto the floor. That was something I learnt to do back in middle school. I had grown tired of having to pick up all my books and always being late to my classes.

"Sorry!" the tall guy shouted back as he continued to run. He seemed to be one of the nicer footballers. Most of them aren't usually that considerate as to apologise for something like that. I continued to walk on to my locker. I put a few books away – ones I didn't need for any homework assignments – and shut it again. I didn't fancy hanging around, so left without looking back.

My car was parked at the far end of the parking lot, by the football fields so I put my hood up to remain incognito and started to power walk towards it. As I slipped into the driver's side of the car I took a moment to just sit and prepare myself for whatever I would find when I got home. I hated going home. There was never anything good waiting for me. A loud bang on the windshield was what brought me out of this particular daydream. It would seem a football had been kicked towards my car. That's what I get for parking by the football field, I guess. Someone ran over quickly to pick up the football. When I looked, I saw it was Alex Gaskarth, one of the guys from my music class. He wasn't an overly popular kid. In fact, he was fairly regular, and was just goofing around with his friends after school.

He picked up the ball and mouthed an apology at me. I simply nodded and started the car. He threw the ball back at his friends and ran after it. I got out of there quickly. If I was late home, my dad would kill me. He always said to me be home on time, or don't come home at all. Of course I'd always take the first option.

When I got there I was greeted with the usual scene as I opened the front door. My mother was sat in the living room, a cigarette in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other. My father was nowhere in sight. He was probably upstairs, or maybe not home from work yet.

"Hey sweetie, how was school?" My mum asked, not taking her eyes off the TV screen, which I only now realised was on.

"It was okay, nothing special as usual."

"Any homework?"

"Yeah, I was just about to go upstairs and do it. Is dad home?" She stayed quiet for a moment, like she was figuring out what to say.

"No, but I'm not sure where he is. Best be doing something constructive though for when he gets back, eh?" Mum knew better than anyone what the consequences would be if he came home to find me watching TV or on my laptop.

I didn't bother to reply; I just went straight upstairs to my bedroom and shut the door behind me. I put on my favourite Green Day album and turned the volume down so that it wouldn't be loud enough to upset my dad. I pulled out my notebook from my backpack and continued to write out my history essay on the civil war.

After an hour or so I had come to a dead end. Writer's block came and went quite often with me, but I couldn't seem to get past it this time. I could hear the sound of tyres on gravel outside the window, which meant dad was home. I heard the front door open and slam shut fairly hard. He was in a bad mood. That didn't bode well.

"ANNALIESE!" His voice was almost loud enough to make the walls shake as he shouted up the staircase. I shot up and ran down the stairs.

"Yes, sir?"

"What have you been doing since you got home from school?" his eyes had the look in them that I dreaded.

"I was just finishing an essay I was given today on the civil war, sir." I looked down at the step I was stood on. He grabbed my chin between his finger and thumb and forced me to look at him.

"Is it nearly done?"

"I'm halfway through, sir." My jaw was aching already from his firm grip. His expression grew angry.

"That's not good enough, Annaliese. It should be done. And you should be making dinner or doing something useful instead of loitering in your room, listening to that shitty noise you seem to think is music. Jesus Christ, are you just completely useless?" I stayed silent, fear starting to consume my emotions. Wrong move. "WELL?!" he shouted in my face, his grip tightening.

"Yes, I'm useless sir." He nodded and pushed on my jaw hard enough to make me fall backwards.

"I think you should make your mother and me some dinner." My mum spoke up then.

"Oh no, honey that's okay. I was going to make dinner tonight-" she was cut off.

"I wasn't talking to you. You have no say in the matter. Annaliese will cook tonight, won't you Annaliese?" he turned back to me.

"Yes, sir." I didn't dare argue.

"Good girl. I think a nice steak would be nice tonight." I nodded and made my way into the kitchen to start cooking. I didn't bother making any for myself. He specified that I was to cook for him and my mother. He never mentioned making anything for myself, so I was very careful to stick to that. I didn't want to give him any reason to be mad at me.

After they had both eaten the meal I had conjured up, I was left alone to do the dishes and to clear up. As I was stood at the sink washing up some plates, dad came back into the kitchen.

"You disappointed me tonight, Annaliese. You should have finished your homework by the time I had gotten home."

"I'm sorry, sir. I got stuck," I tried to explain myself but he cut me off.

"Listen, I don't know if you think that life is just a big game, or if your grades mean anything to you or not, but you will finish your homework on the day it is set to an A grade standard. You are a straight A student. If your grades slip, so help me God, I will be forced to issue a punishment. You don't know how lucky you are. You have a roof over your head. A family. Food. Everything you need, and yet you take that for granted you spoilt little bitch." I let him rant, but he was only making himself angrier with every word he spoke."

"I'm sorry Sir, I'll try harder," he cut me off again, but this time with a smack across the face.

"Don't you DARE speak out of turn you worthless little girl. God, I look forward to the day I will see the back of you and you leave this house. Now I want you to march your ass upstairs and finish that fucking essay, do you hear me?" I stayed quiet for fear of saying something wrong. That was the wrong thing to do.

"I SAID DO YOU HEAR ME?" He stepped closer to me, giving me another slap. My cheek was throbbing by this point and I assumed I would possibly end up with a black eye.

"Yes, sir." My voice quivered in terror.

"Good. Off you go." He stepped aside as I ran past him and up the stairs into my bedroom. I shut the door behind me and slid down it, tears running down my face. I heard my mother start to shout at him, and things turned ugly very quickly. I heard glass breaking, punches being thrown, slaps on bare skin and screams on my mother's part. I tried to block it out, pushing my fingers into my ears, but I could still hear it. And then it suddenly went disturbingly quiet. This was a usual thing though. If I dared to go downstairs now, it would only be me who was the subject of a beating worse than what I had experienced already tonight.

Instead, I did as I was told. I completed the essay. I was done by 10pm and decided to just get into my pyjamas and get into bed. I was scared that if I went outside my bedroom, I would get into more trouble. In bed I just laid there, staring up at the ceiling. Tears were running silently down the sides of my face and I couldn't stop them, no matter how hard I tried.

I was replaying every insult my dad had ever said to me, and they each stung like a hornet's sting. Most of all, because I knew how right he was. I truly was pathetic, worthless, disgusting and a waste of life. If my own dad couldn't love me, who the hell else could? But then I had to think of my mum. I knew she loved me. But I ended up putting that down to mother's instinct. She had to love me; she gave birth to me.

The worst thing about all of this was I couldn't excuse anything he had said to me. I couldn't just say "he had a rough childhood" or "he's an alcoholic". There was no excuse, so everything he said was true. He really believed all of that. And why wouldn't he without reason?

The insults echoed in my mind until I couldn't feel a thing anymore. I had become numb. The tears kept rolling down my face but I didn't feel anything at all. It was like I was floating; only this was an unsettling feeling. I wanted to feel something again. Anything. So I did the only thing I could in this situation.

I got up out of bed and took off my pyjama bottoms. I rooted around in my dresser until I found the blades I was looking for. I had quite the collection. Pencil sharpener blades, razor blades, safety pins… All sorts of sharp objects lay in my hands. I stared at them for a moment. They looked so inviting, so promising. I picked up one of the razor blades and starting to twirl it between my fingers, thinking over what I was about to do. I knew that I wanted to feel something. I was desperate. Feeling numb is a terrifying and lonely feeling. I didn't want to feel like that.

And before I knew it, I had dragged the blade across the top of my thigh, drawing a considerable amount of deep red blood. I whimpered lightly and did it again, digging the blade slightly deeper this time. This wasn't my first time, as you could probably guess from the extensive collection of sharp objects I had stashed away. I was adding to a collection of thick, white scars lining my thighs. I was careful to do it there rather than my wrist. I did that once before, and acquired a beating once my dad saw what I had done.

I felt pathetic for resorting to this but I was desperate. I had nothing else. The cuts were more like gashes and the blood started to run down the outside of my thigh leaving a trail of dark red that was so tragically beautiful to me.

I sliced into my legs a few more times until I realised that I was feeling something now, and the goal had been achieved. I waited as the blood continued to run down my legs. It eventually stopped and this was the point I began cleaning myself up with wet wipes I used to remove my make-up. I slipped on my pyjamas bottoms once more, dried my tears and laid back on my bed. It wasn't long before I drifted into an imaginative sleep, my dreams better than reality.

Like I said before; I liked my imagination. I was safe in there.

Reality is where people get hurt.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

No amount of make-up was covering the black eye that dad had given me the previous night. No matter what I did, the dark purple ring around my left eye was just too dark and too big, spreading over my cheek. I was dreading leaving my room this morning but my stomach was growling at me after having nothing to eat in over 12 hours, and I had to get to school. If I missed a day I'd get worse than a black eye.

There was no noise coming from downstairs, but I knew I was the last to get up. I had heard both of my parents walking down the stairs. To tell the truth, I was terrified to see my dad again. Well, I was always terrified…

Regardless, I made my way out of my bedroom after putting on some black skinny jeans and an oversized khaki green jumper. Both parents were sat at the dining table in the kitchen drinking mugs of coffee in silence. From the look of it, mum got one hell of a beating last night when dad flipped out. Her right eyebrow had been split open, and her black eye was darker than mine. There was a graze along her left cheekbone and small cuts on her hands. Her eyes looked drained of any life as she stared into her mug.

Dad looked up and glared at me. I averted his gaze and walked towards the toaster. A couple of slices of toast would see me through until lunch time.

"Did you finish that homework?" his voice was deep and threatening.

"Yes sir."

He stayed quiet and let me continue. I was grateful. If anything were to kick off now, I don't know how I'd cope at school today.

But, just like every day, I made my way to school as if nothing was wrong. I parked I my usual spot by the football fields and sat in the car, listening to the Nirvana CD I had picked up on my way out of the house. I was usually early for school by about 20 minutes, simply because I would rather be here than home.

After about 5 minutes a small blue car pulled up alongside mine, and out climbed two guys. From here I was I couldn't see the driver, but the guy that got out the other side was one of the acquaintances I had. He shared a music class with me and sat next to me. We'd been paired up together more times than not, and he was a nice kid. But like I've said before, I tend not to let myself get too emotionally invested in people. His name was Jack, but I wasn't certain what his last name was.

The driver walked around the front of the car to join Jack, and it was at this point I saw that it was Alex, the kid who kicked the football at my car. I saw him glance over at me briefly; probably because Nirvana was booming out of my speakers. He and Jack looked like the kind of guys who'd be into that. I thought I saw him smirk slightly, like he recognised the song playing.

The two boys stood chatting for a while, leaning against the blue car until the first bell rang for home room. At this point I too got out of my car and made my way into the building. I hoped today would be slow. High school was no picnic, but it was nothing in comparison to home life. At least today I had music. First though, I'd have to survive Trigonometry, English Literature and Biology.

By the time I got to music class, I was exhausted. I know I said I wanted the day to go by kind of slow, but I'm not sure I wanted it to drag as much as it was. I'd also been questioned about my black eye by a concerned trig teacher, who dressed like a Sunday school teacher and smelt like soggy cookies. I shrugged it off and told her I was texting in bed when I dropped my phone on my face. She looked at me with an expression that told me she didn't believe me but she wasn't going to ask more questions. I was grateful for that. I don't know what I would have said to her if she had kept asking questions.

I sat down at the back of the music room in my usual spot and people filed in around me, followed by Mr Aldren. Mr Aldren was gorgeous, to say the least. He had dark hair styled into a quiff, and a trimmed beard that looked really soft to touch… (Is it weird I think about that?) He always wore slim fit trousers held up by suspenders which he wore over his shirt. He'd usually leave his top 3 buttons undone so you could see a little chest hair and the top of a chest tattoo, but sometimes he'd wear a bow tie. He had the most ridiculously blue eyes I had ever seen, and when he looked at me with them I would curse the fact he was my teacher and I couldn't think about him like that without it being really weird.

But I found comfort in knowing that pretty much every girl in the school though exactly the same about him.

He stood at the front of the classroom and began talking to the class.

"Okay guys, so for the first semester I asked you guys to work alone, to produce a cover of a song you love, and an original. You could either perform them live or use our recording studio, and you all delivered. I'm happy to be able to tell you guys that not one of you failed the first semester's assignment. This semester, however, I would like you to work in pairs. You can pick your pairs, 'cause you know I'm not a dick, so you choose your pairs while I take note of who's here today."

So, this was my worst nightmare. Like I said before, I have no friends, no one in this class I would feel comfortable enough with to sing or play in front of. I stayed quit and didn't move or look at anyone else in the room. I heard shuffling and chair legs scraping against the floor, so people had been moving around to sit next to each other in their pairs. I knew there were an odd number of students, and I'd be the one left on my own and put with another pair.

"Ah, Annaliese… Unfortunately I can't let you work alone, so I'm going to have to put you with another pair…" Mr Aldren looked around the room at the pairs that had formed, but was interrupted mid-thought by a voice from the front row.

"She can work with us, if she'd like."

"Well, that's very big of you, Jack. Annaliese, is that something you'd like to do?"

I was taken aback. Someone wanted to work with me? How is that even possible? No one knows I exist. But I guess this was the lesser of two evils. I could either have been paired up with girls only interested in making hip hop covers, or work with Jack and his partner, who I now realised was Alex, and maybe get the chance to cover some music I liked.

I nodded, gathered my stuff and moved to sit with them. I didn't say a word, and barely looked up from my lap. I had been doing that all day, trying to stop people from being able to stare at my eye for longer than two seconds.

"So uh, we heard you listening to Nirvana this morning and thought it was pretty cool that you were into that stuff. That's kind of why we asked if you'd want to join us; to save you from the pop stuff the others will want to do." Jack said. I looked up and smiled, but I don't think it quite reached my eyes.

"Do you mind me asking what happened to your eye?" Alex asked, completely innocently. I froze completely. My mouth opened but no words came out, and my eyes had doubled in width. "Uh…Annaliese?"

"Sorry, um…I was texting in bed last night, and I dropped my phone on my eye." I chuckled lightly as if to say that I knew it was a silly thing to do.

"Oh right. It looks pretty bad…"

"Shut up, Alex." Jack pushed his shoulder.

"Sorry… I didn't mean anything by it."

"That's okay. You're not the first to ask." I shuffled uncomfortably in my seat and kept my head down. I expected people to ask, so I really should have prepared myself to be better at lying because I really don't think people were buying the phone story.

"So uh, we thought we could talk mostly about the different bands and artists we all like and then see if we have any in common, that way we can all cover something we like. So Annaliese, who do you listen to?" Jack asked, leaning forward on the desk as if he was a child at story time.

"Well, I like Nirvana as you heard this morning, Sum 41, Simple Plan, My Chemical Romance, Green Day, Bowling For Soup…but my favourite band has to be blink-182."

"No freaking way. Blink are our favourite band too. Oh, this is too cool." Alex sounded elated and shared a knowing look with Jack. "So would you be interested in covering a blink song?" A smile tried to creep its way onto my face, but I only let it a little.

"Yeah, that sounds good to me! I don't mind which song though. You guys pick." I wanted to make this as easy as possible, with as little disagreement as possible. Jack and Alex started chatting amongst themselves, arguing over their favourite blink songs and which of them to cover.

As they did, that smile that tried to creep onto my face seemed to be fighting to become bigger, spreading a little more. It felt weird to have people to talk to, and I assumed I would be sending all of my music lessons this semester with these two and strangely, it didn't bother me that I wouldn't be alone. In fact, I quite liked the idea.

"So Annaliese I you want to, during the semester we could practise outside of school. We could go to my house or Alex's house, or yours if you're more comfortable with that…" My smile dropped instantly.

"Oh, no I can't do that. I can't have people at my house. My Dad…he…he works from home and doesn't like to be disturbed…" It was the best lie I could come up with. Jack seemed to buy it but Alex was frowning at me, but didn't ask any questions.

"That's cool; Alex and I can have you at our house to practise instead. This is going to be so kick-ass… What do you play, by the way?" Jack was so enthusiastic it was almost adorable.

"Well, I've been playing guitar since I was 9, and I guess I sing…"

"How good are you?" Alex rested his chin on his left hand and was looking right into my eyes.

"Not bad…"

"That's pure modesty; I can see it in your eyes! But I guess we'll see when the time comes, eh?" he winked at me. I wasn't sure how to take that… No one's ever winked at me before.

Before long the bell for the end of the day rang out, and everyone grabbed their belongings and rushed out of the class. I followed, forgetting to say goodbye to the guys. I was so used to just rushing out of class without a word. I hoped I hadn't come across as rude…

As I was walking down the corridor I heard Alex shouting my name.

"ANNALIESE! ANNA, WAIT!" Anna? No one calls me Anna… I turned around and saw him jogging towards me, holding what looked like my biology textbook. "You dropped this when you rushed off. You okay?" He looked down at me and his expression showed genuine concern. It was strange to have someone be concerned about me, other than the people whose job it was to be concerned.

"Yeah I'm fine; I just have to get home. I have to cook for my parents tonight."

"Oh okay, well I'll catch up with you next time we have music, or in the hallways or something." I nodded and he handed me my textbook. Again, I felt rude just turning and walking away, but I didn't have much practise being social, so I wasn't sure what the right etiquette was in that situation.

I did the usual; got in my car and drove home with Nirvana playing relatively loudly. My dad's car was already in the drive, which meant he was home early. My heart rate increased as I made my way towards the front door. Once inside, I set my school bag on its peg and put my keys in the little bowl by the door.

"ANNALIESE!" his voice cut through the silence like a freshly sharpened blade, and I lost my balance, stumbling to the left. It came from upstairs. I ran quickly as not to keep him waiting. He was stood in my bedroom doorway, his arms crossed over his chest and his expression furious.

"You SILLY little girl." I had no idea what I had done wrong. I was so careful not to leave anything that would annoy him. "What the HELL ARE THESE?" He unfolded his arms and I saw he was holding a little plastic bag that had all of my blades in. Oh, _shit…_

"Um they're…uh… I…" I wasn't quick enough with a lie. The back of his hand collided with my already purple cheek and I stumbled from the force of it.

"You pathetic little girl. Why do you think you can hurt yourself, huh? What makes you think you have the right to hurt yourself? No, sweetie…" he wrapped his hand in a clump of my hair and brought my head close to his so he could whisper in my ear, "that's _my_ job." His tone ran shivers down my spine and made my skin crawl. Then suddenly, he dragged me to the top of the stairs and pushed.

I tumbled down each step like he had dropped a rag doll rather than a person. Each time a part of my body hit a step I would cry out. The force at which he has pushed me made it quick at least, but at the last step I hit my head on the bannister, and the pain was the last thing I remembered before it went black.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

I woke up in the same place I had blacked out; the bottom of the stairs. I had no idea what time it was. In fact, I had no idea what had happened at first. It took me a moment or two to remember I hadn't simply tripped and fallen. My head was pounding, and I assumed there was some kind of lump. I know trying to touch the affected area would only cause more pain though, so I didn't look for one.

As I attempted to stand up, I realised just how much pain there was left to discover throughout the rest of my body and groaned as I stretched.

"Oh sweetie, are you okay?" my mother rushed to my side to helped me stand up straight, wrapping my arm around her neck and holding me up with an arm around my waist.

"I...I don't know."

"Oh God, you're bleeding! I'm so sorry sweetie, I should have done something, I should have stopped him… You could have been killed, getting pushed down those stairs like that! I've been waiting for you to wake up for hours." She helped me over to the couch, where she sat me upright to treat whatever wound was bleeding.

"How did you know I wasn't dead then?"

"Well, once your father had left I checked your pulse and breathing, and both were fine."

"Oh…Well I deserved this, I mean he…"

"No! I know why he did it and you did not deserve that… I wish you would have told me sweetie. I could have helped. I should have known. I need to do something about this… He can't keep hurting you like this." She started to dab some cotton balls soaked in some kind of liquid onto my forehead, and it stung like a wasp's sting.

"There's nothing you can do without it getting worse. Just please, let it go. I'll be going to college next year and I can just leave and never come back. I'd never have to see him again. I can handle it until then. Please mum? Don't do or say anything…" She looked at me with sadness and desperation in her faded green eyes. I simply stared back, pleading. She sighed and nodded, then continued to clean the wound on my forehead. Glancing over at the clock on the mantelpiece I noticed it was gone midnight.

"No need for the emergency room; you won't need stitches. Just wear this dressing until the morning, then make sure you clean it when you shower in the morning. Now go on, go up to bed before your father gets home." I nodded and made my way slowly upstairs. Any fast or sudden movements would result in aches all over my body.

I fell asleep quickly when I got into bed. I was still drowsy from the concussion and drifted into a deep and thankfully, dreamless sleep.

* * *

"Whoa Annaliese, what happened to your head?" Jack had found me in the parking lot at school the next morning.

"Fell down the stairs and hit my head on the bannister. The carpet at the top of the stairs is all bunched up. Mom's getting it fixed today." My lie seemed to work as he didn't press the matter any further.

"Did you get like, a concussion or anything? 'Cause if you did you shouldn't really be driving..."

"No, I don't think so." I was frighteningly good at lying. It had been dangerous to drive to school, but if I didn't go to school I'm sure dad would have flipped again.

The school bell rang before Jack could interrogate me further, and I left quickly without a goodbye. Escaping awkward situations is something I had mastered in my time of being an invisible student.

If it weren't for the people who kept staring at my injuries all day, I would have said it was a fairly normal day. My teachers gave me concerned looks when they saw me, but none of them asked. I was exhausted both physically and emotionally and there was no way I'd be able to build a convincing enough case. As the final bell rang I let out a barely audible sigh of relief and left my last class of the day. American History, if you were wondering.

"Hey, Anna!" Anna, again? That must mean that voice belonged to Alex. I was putting books into my locker at the time, and Alex had apparently walked up behind me.

"Oh, hey." I said as I turned around.

"Whoa, what happened to your head?!" he pushed my bangs behind my ear and his fingers hovered over the huge bruise and cut on my forehead. His expression was one of utter horror. "How did that happen?" I noticed straight away that he didn't ask "how did _you_ do that?" and my mind went blank. It took me a good 20 seconds to reply, which is a long time to not answer a question like that.

"Uh, the carpet at the top of the stairs had come up and I tripped and fell. I hit my head on the bannister. Mom's getting it fixed today." I shrugged. He stared at me for a moment before entangling my fingers in his own and dragging me down the hallway, slamming my locker shut for me.

He dragged me into a janitor's closet, shutting the door behind me and plunging the tiny space into darkness. He pulled a chord and the light flickered on, revealing all kinds of cleaning products on several shelves and a few mops and brooms. He was literally inches from me, and I could feel his breath on my forehead. I looked up at him, suddenly terrified. He hadn't believed me.

"Now look me in the eye, and tell me that story again." Funnily enough, I didn't feel threatened by him, even with his eyes boring into mine and even with him being at least half a foot taller than me.

And for some reason I could seem to do it. I couldn't lie to his face. I had had years of practise of lying to people's faces. Even to myself. So why couldn't I lie now? It felt like I would be betraying him. He looked almost desperate.

"Anna… How did you do this?"

"I fell down the stairs." _Not technically a lie._

"No you didn't. Your eyes are betraying you. They're vacant. Stop lying to me and tell me the truth."

And I regretted what I said as soon as the words rolled off my tongue.

"I didn't fall. My dad pushed me."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"I didn't fall, my dad pushed me." I don't know why or how I managed to tell the truth; it just fort of happened. Alex's eyes widened. Neither of us said anything for a few minutes, but each minute felt like a year. He raised his left hand up to my shoulder and grazed his fingers over the cotton of my jumper. He then ran them down the length of my arm. My breath caught in my throat as his fingers ran over my hand. He wasn't looking at me anymore; he was watching his fingers tracing patterns on the back of my hand.

"This isn't the first time he's hurt you, is it? That back eye…That was him too, wasn't it?" His asked in a monotonous voice. I don't know why he was asking. He knew the answers.

"Yes."

"You need to tell someone before he hurts you again." He still hadn't looked up.

"That would make everything so much worse. If only you knew him. Alex, I need to go. I have to get home. I can't be late." His head snapped up to look at me.

"Or what? What will he do if you're late Anna? Slap you? Punch you? Beat you? Throw you out the top floor window?"

"Stop it."

"No, I won't. You need to go to the police, or someone. Anyone. You can stay at my house or something. This is serious, and you cannot live like this."

"He's not a bad man, I just do some stuff wrong sometimes and he gets mad, like anyone else."

"My dad's never raised a hand to me." I had no answer to this. "Please, Anna. Talk to someone."

"Why do you even care? You'd never spoken to me at the start of the week and suddenly you're telling me how to live my life? You don't have that right. You don't have a clue whether I deserved it or not! You don't know what I did!"

"Then what did you do? What justifies a grown man throwing his daughter down the stairs?" I'd hit a dead end. I'd already blurted out too much. I couldn't tell him I was a self-harm addict too… Instead I ran. I ran out of the janitor's closet, down the school corridor, out into the parking lot, and hopped into my car. Alex had tried to run after me, shouting my name behind me. He wasn't quick enough. By the time he had reached my parking spot, I was already reversing out and driving away.

I knew that wasn't the end of that. He wouldn't let this go. What if he told someone? It'd make everything so much worse. My hands started shaking on the steering wheel as I drove home.

_Hold it together, Annaliese. You're almost home. Everything's gonna be okay. Just calm down. _

Everything was not going to be okay.

I managed to get home without getting scraped off the road. Lord knows how. As I walked up to the front door I could hear my mum sobbing loudly and my dad shouting at her. When I walked inside he turned his head to look at me. My mum was kneeling on the floor, her nose dripping with blood and he had one of his hands tangled in her hair, holding her head up.

"Look who's home, dear! The little princess herself." He pushed the side of my mum's head so she fell onto the floor and turned his whole body towards me. "What did you tell people at school about your head?"

"O-only one person asked, Sir. I told them I had tripped on a loose bit of carpet at the top of the stairs and hit my head on the bannister, and that mum was getting it fixed today."

"Good. Now get upstairs. I don't want to see your pathetic face." I nodded and ran up the stairs, making sure to slam my door just loud enough so he knew I was in my bedroom and not listening in at the top of the stairs. He caught me doing that once before, and it didn't end well.

I had some Physics homework to do anyway, and there's always studying to be done. It was important to get a decent score on my SAT's so I could leave Baltimore and go to a decent college. My form tutor thinks I could get into Harvard if I applied myself.

After an hour or so of studying, my father's voice bellowed up the stair case.

"ANNALIESE!" I quickly ran to the top of the stairs.

"Yes, sir?"

"Get down here. Now." I followed his instruction without hesitation. He pointed at the couch; a silent order for me to sit. So I did. My mum was sat on the other side of the couch. My father stood in front of the both of us, looking incredibly intimidating, completely the opposite of the way Alex had made me feel when he confronted me. I glanced over at my mom.

Her eyes were red and puffy, I'm assuming from crying so much. She looked tired, with dark purple bags sagging under her eyes. The blood that had been dripping from her nose when I arrived home had dried on her face. It was clear my father hadn't allowed her to clean herself up. The bridge of her nose was starting to go a startling shade of plum. She was looking down at her hands in her lap, looking ashamed of herself. I hated that my father made her feel that way. She was a decent human being, and he made her feel worthless.

"Now, Annaliese, it seems your mother thinks I was too harsh on you yesterday. I want you to tell her how you feel about the situation. Was I too hard on you?" He asked as he stared at my mother, who couldn't bear to look him in the eye.

"No sir, I deserved what you did. You were right. I am pathetic and I have no right to hurt myself." I said all the things he would have wanted me to say, none of them true. He turned to look at me and took a step towards me, bending down to come down to my level. I backed away a few inches instinctively.

"Is that right?"

"Yes sir. I'm sorry for what I did. I understand why that was wrong." He stood up straight again, and took two steps towards my mom. She looked at him through the corner of her eye, and he bent down towards her.

"See? She knows what she did. And she's sorry. And why is she sorry? Because I _made_ her be sorry." He spat at her.

"I just think that-" she started to say but was silenced by one of my father's large hands colliding with her cheek, hard. I gasped out loud and the noise the slap made and the cry of pain she let out.

"Don't you undermine me, Elizabeth." He said in a slow, low voice. "Now, Annaliese, did you get any homework today?" He turned back towards me.

"Yes, sir. It's done."

"Good. You need to be on your best behaviour to avoid another punishment. Go and get it so I can check it." I walked straight up to my room without question and brought my physics quiz down, all the questions answered.

"Very good, Annaliese. You got them all right. Now if you would like something to eat, go and help yourself but make sure you don't make any mess in there." He handed me back the quiz. That was how it worked in my house. If I did something right, I was allowed privileges. Yes, I now eating is a necessity but my father didn't see it that way. Food was a luxury I was only allowed if I lived up to his expectations. I guess it's how I stayed so slim.

I made my way into the kitchen and cooked up some grilled cheese. I made sure to ask if my father wanted some, but he shook his head as he sat next to my mom on the couch as if he hadn't slapped her about not 2 minutes ago. I sat in the kitchen to eat. I was never allowed food in any other room other than the kitchen. The confrontation with Alex popped back into my head. I couldn't help but wonder if he was going to tell anyone. If my father knew that I had told someone, I'm not sure what he would do. I knew what he was capable of…

Working with him on this music assignment was going to become difficult from now on. I had hoped he would just drop it, but I knew that was unlikely. I would have to ask my dad if I could practise at his house too. I'm not sure how he would take that. Somehow I would have to conjure up the courage to ask him while I was still in his good books. I would have to do it now. Who knows how long I had left? So once I had finished my grilled cheese, I washed up my dishes and made my way into the living room.

"Um…Dad?" I hated to interrupt him whilst he was watching television but hey, no time like the present.

"What?" he grunted.

"I need to ask you something. I wouldn't want to go ahead and do something without your permission, after all." I knew that if I were to say that, he would think _okay, she knows the rules. I'll consider._

"Go ahead, sweetie." I hated it when he called me that. It was patronising and fake. What I would give for him to say that and actually mean it.

"Well, we've been given a new assignment in music class. We have to work in small groups to produce a cover of a song of our choice, and I was put into a group with these two guys, Alex and Jack. I was wondering if it would be okay if I were to go to their houses to practise after school a few time a week? I only want to get the best grade possible, of course, sir. I know how important straight A's are." He turned his attention from the TV screen to me.

"Alex and Jack? Boys?" he looked annoyed.

"I know, sir. I was put into a group with them by our teacher. No one else wanted to work with me. Of course I know I'm not allowed to date, sir. Nothing would happen. Just practise for the assignment. I promise."

"I'm pleased you know the rules, Annaliese. I shall think about it." That was as good as I was going to get. I knew not to press the matter.

"Thank you, sir. I'll go and do some studying now." I started to walk up the stairs as he said "good girl" and directed his focus to the TV again. See? He's not so bad when you do as you're told. I just felt awful for my mom, sat on the sofa with his arm wrapped tightly around her shoulder, tired, upset and her face covered in dried blood. But there was nothing she could do. She was in his bad books, and if you're in his bad books, you have to do whatever he says or things turn ugly very quickly.

I did as I had said; studying until around 10pm, and then got into bed. I fell into a deep sleep quite quickly, the past few days catching up with me.

And I dreamt. Some nice, some horrific, but all better than the hell I was living.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

I was woken to the sound of the kitchen fire alarm and the strong smell of burning. My instincts kicked in and I hopped out of bed as fast as I could, then ran downstairs and into the kitchen to find my mum wafting a tea towel towards the ceiling where the fire alarm was making a monstrous amount of noise for something so small. No fire.

"Oh sorry, sweetie, did I wake you?" my mom shouted over the noise.

"Not at all," I shouted back. It was my typical of my mum to set the fire alarm off due to her horrendous cooking. What had she burnt this time? Oh, just some toast. See why my father makes me cook a lot?

"Sorry, I just can't get this thing to shut up!" I sighed and pulled a chair up underneath the alarm, pushing the little button on the case that shuts it off. My mom wasn't the brightest spark, if I'm being honest… She was often making silly little errors like that, hence why she had so many bruises…

"Well, I don't think you woke Dad," of course that was what we were both thinking. If he hadn't come stomping down the stairs, then chances are he slept through the minor incident. If he had woken up, we would have known about it. "Now that I'm up though, I'll make some pancakes for when he does come downstairs." My mum nodded and sat down at the kitchen table, placing her head in her hands. She was a strong character, even if she wasn't showing it. She had to be; otherwise she wouldn't have gotten through 21 years of being married to my father. But she had her moments of weakness, as we both did. I kissed her head and continued on with my morning routine.

There wasn't much else I could do. Nothing would stop my father, and if we left, he'd find us. My mom tried that once before I was born, and she got one of the worst beatings she had ever experienced. She had told me this when I first asked if we could run away when I was 13. I felt horrible for her. My plan was to run away to college and never see my father again, but she was trapped. She had no escape plan. Unless my father got bored of her or ever so sadly (please, note the sarcasm) passed away, she was trapped. It was a selfish plan of mine, but a plan that she fully backed. She wanted me to live the life that was snatched away from her.

After creating a stack of pancakes to satisfy the stomachs of the household, I heard my father's footsteps on the stairs. When he walked into the kitchen, he kissed my mother's blackened cheek and sat next to her at the table.

"Good morning, sweetie. Annaliese made all of us pancakes. Isn't that sweet?" My mom always had to be polite, no matter what he had done.

"Why? Did you burn the breakfast again?" he accused in a monotonous voice.

"Well actually, I did. I burnt some toast… I'm just useless at cooking!" she laughed, trying to make a joke out of the situation, but my father just grunted and tucked into the pancakes I had put in front of him. She stopped trying to interact with him and began to eat her own small stack of pancakes. I sat on the opposite side of the table to eat mine.

"So Annaliese, about this…music assignment, is it?" my father asked with a mouthful of pancake. I nodded at him. "Well, I have decided that as long as you stick to the assignment, and you are home by 10pm at the very latest, you may visit these boys' houses. But if you so much as think about dating one of these boys, that will be it, and you will be punished, do you hear me? No dating until you go to college. That is our rule."

"Yes, sir. Thank you. I would rather focus on my studies than date anyway." That was true, actually. Dating doesn't cross my mind. I can find someone attractive, for sure, but never have I ever thought about dating a guy. Or a girl for that matter. I just needed good grades and a one way ticket to any other state with a decent college. My escape plan could not, and would not, fail.

"That's a good attitude to have, Annaliese," he said, and continued to eat. I was shocked to say the least. I suppose sucking up to him last night worked.

After breakfast I made my way upstairs to change for the day ahead. Long sleeves were a must to hide the scars, so I picked out a boring navy blue sweater that was a little too big for me and some black skinny jeans. I had a pair of black, unpolished Dr Marten boots which I decided would look kind of cool, so I slipped them on too. I was lucky enough not to have to wrestle with the tangles in my long brown hair in the morning. I could usually just brush it through once and it would be presentable. And this was one of those mornings where I could only be bothered with a bit of mascara and some concealer and foundation to hide the slightly less purple black eye I had obtained the other night. Sooner or later it would go yellow, and disappear completely.

When I got downstairs, to say goodbye to my parents, I saw my mom washing up whilst my dad was sat reading the paper at the table with a cup of black coffee.

"I'll see you later!" I called from the front door.

"Have a good day, sweetie!" My mum called back.

"If you're invited to one of these boys' houses tonight, make sure you ring to ask permission," my father called.

"Yes, sir! Love you!" That was more to my mom than to my dad, obviously, but they heard it as a gesture to both of them.

When I arrived in the school parking lot, a familiar blue car was already parked in my spot. This was unusual, considering I was always the first person at school, even before the teachers. Then I realised who that car belonged to and realised the driver would be waiting for me. _Damn._ I pulled up into the spot to the right and looked over. Of course, I was right. Alex was sat looking back at me. He got out of his car and made his way over to my window. I rolled it down to humour him. He had obviously planned what he was going to do and say in advance. The least I could do was hear him out.

"I'm sorry I invaded your privacy yesterday. That was wrong of me. But my intentions and my point, were correct. Even you can't deny that." I looked down into my lap to avoid eye contact.

"Get in the car." I said quietly, giving in to him. He walked around the front of the car and got into the passenger side. "I know what he does is wrong. But to tell someone would make it so much worse. And anyway, I have a plan."

"Oh, yeah? What plan?" Alex seemed doubtful.

"Well, I'm a straight A student, and well on my way to getting into a decent college. My mom and I have both discussed in secret that we're going to tell him I've gone to a different college than the one I decide on, and basically, I'm going to run away." I looked up at him again to gage his reaction. He had raised one of his eyebrows, which I only now realised seemed to both be incredibly thick eyebrows.

"Okay, so say you did get away. Say you never had to see your father again. Would you be perfectly okay knowing what he was doing to your mom?"

He had a point. I had been completely selfish up until now. I had been so caught up in the idea of escaping that I had forgotten the one person I loved in this world.

"I guess I got so caught up in the idea I just… and my mom has always wanted me to escape, she never once mentioned herself I just… oh my God, I'm a horrible person…" I stared ahead of me out of the windshield and thought about how horrendous her life had been ever since she married that monster. I had only had to deal with this for 17 years, whereas my mom had had this for 21 years. I thought about all the times I had seen him beating her, or bringing her down to make her feel small. Countless times… I couldn't believe I had just…_forgotten_ that! Tears spilled silently over my eyes as I stared.

"Hey…hey, no stop that…come on. I didn't mean to make you cry… God, I'm sorry. Come here…" he shuffled as close as he could get, what with the gearstick in between us, and wrapped his arms around me. I was uncomfortable enough already, but now, with him hugging me, I went rigid. I barely knew this kid, and he already knew too much and invaded my personal space. "It's not your fault. You're scared; I get that. That's why you have to tell someone about this. Go to the cops. Talk to a teacher. Just please, do something. You can't let him carry on doing this." He sat back again once he had sensed my discomfort.

I thought about it for a moment. Telling a teacher would result in my parents being called in, which would be disastrous when the three of us got home. Telling the police would result in an arrest, but with no hard evidence to say our injuries were his fault; he would be released, which again would be disastrous for when he got home. Even with both statements from my mom and me, there was no proof. Every solution came out with the same result; disaster. But to keep Alex off my case, I had to do something…

"Okay, I'll tell someone." I lied. I heard him breathe a deep sigh of relief and sit back in his seat.

"Thank you."

* * *

Lunch was a boring and lonely period for me. With no real friends, I would always sit in the corner or the cafeteria and read a book, or finish a paper whilst eating. People would stare at me think I was weird, but it could be worse… So today I did what I always do. I took my tray to the table in the corner, and decided I would read my tatty old copy of Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone. It was my favourite book, and I had read it too many times to count.

I was halfway through chapter 3 when someone sat to the left of me. I looked up to see Jack smiling at me like he'd just found the free toy in a cereal box.

"Come sit with us," he said simply.

"Huh?"

"Come sit with us! Come, now! With me! Sit!" he said as he stood up, taking my tray of food from under me and walking away. I had no time to politely decline, so I followed him with my book in hand and my bag slung over my shoulder. "Move over, tubs," he said to a guy with kind of long-ish hair that I had seen around before, but never heard his name. This guy rolled his eyes at Jack and slid along the bench. Jack set down my try and gestured for me to sit in that spot. I did as he had asked and awkwardly sat down whilst he sat down in between me and the guy who's name I was unsure of. I now realised that Alex was sat the other side of me, making his way through his mac and cheese. He had a mouthful so instead of saying hi, he nodded and went back to his food.

I looked around the table. There was a girl the other side of the nameless boy with long blonde hair and a Sum 41 shirt on. She was extremely pretty, and although I had no reason to be, I felt kind of threatened by her, like she was the Queen Bee and the world revolved around her. Next to her was another girl who was shorter than the Queen Bee. Her hair was cut into a pixie hairstyle and was a strange mix between black and blue. Obviously she dyed it, but it really suited her. She looked up and over at me, then to Jack.

"Jack, are you not going to introduce your new friend?" she asked, still smiling.

"Yeah, give me a chance! Everybody, this is Annaliese! Alex and I know her from music class."

"What happened to your face?" asked Queen Bee. Her face was expressionless, like she had just asked to be awkward.

"Fell down the stairs and hit the bannister." She didn't react. She just went back to eating, like she hadn't cared for the answer at all. She really had just asked to be awkward and to belittle me. I didn't like her at all. I'm a fairly good judge of character, and I could tell she wasn't very nice.

"Aaaanyway, I'm Rian!" He reached around the front of Jack as an invitation to shake his hand. I accepted. He seemed like a nice enough kid.

"And I'm Olivia, but everyone calls me Livie!" said the girl with the pixie cut. "This is Holly." She pointed to Queen Bee. I made a mental note to keep calling her Queen Bee in my head.

"Hi," I said politely, and she smiled and went back to whatever it was she was doing.

"So, are you free after school? Alex is coming over to mine and I thought it'd be the perfect time to start working on that blink cover. What do you think?" Jack asked.

"I'll have to ring home and ask if it's okay first…"

"Oh yeah, that's cool." He smiled and turned around to dig around in his bag. He pulled out something covered in foil, and unwrapped it to reveal a sub packed with all kinds of meat and salad. It was huge, but somehow he managed to fit his mouth around it and take a huge bite.

"Jack, you are such a pig," Queen Bee snarled. He opened his mouth to reveal a mouth full of mushed up sub in response, and she turned away in disgust. Rian and Olivia found it hilarious that Jack didn't take her crap. I looked at Alex and he too was smiling at Jack. He noticed me looking at him and his smile diverted to me. He held his gaze for a second before returning to his tray of food.

I still had my Harry Potter book in my hand, so I packed that into my bag and began to eat the food I had picked out before the bell for lessons went again. I, like Alex, had picked the mac and cheese with a small slice of raspberry cheesecake and a small cartoon of apple juice. At least our school's cafeteria food was pretty good.

When the inevitable bell finally rang out, everyone dispersed fairly quickly, leaving just Jack, Alex and myself to toss out our trash and head in our separate ways.

"So I'll come find you in the parking lot after school, okay? And you can let me know if you can come over tonight!" said Jack. I nodded with a smile. "Okay, great! See you later!" He turned around and left. Alex saluted with just two fingers and a smirk and jogged after him.

Did I… Did I just make _friends?_


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

"You may go, but if I hear of any funny business, Annaliese, you know exactly what will happen!" My father's voice, even over the phone, sounded firm and threatening.

"Yes, sir. I know the rules, Sir. What time would you like me home?"

"9:30pm, not a minute later. It's a school night, remember."

"Yes sir. Thank you." And then he hung up. I thought it best to ring him and ask, even though he had said I could go earlier that morning. He wouldn't have liked it if I had just not gone home…

"Hey!" Someone called from behind me. I span on my toes, the shout startling me. It was Jack. 10 or so foot behind him, Alex and Queen Bee were both headed in my general direction. Alex, I didn't mind, but I didn't much fancy the extra quality time with Queenie… I ignored them though, and concentrated on Jack.

"Hey. My dad said he's cool with me coming over tonight, as long as I'm home by 9:30pm because it's a school night. If it had been a Friday or Saturday, I'm sure he would have said 10pm"

"9:30? He a little strict?" he asked me, one bushy eyebrow raised.

"Oh, you have no idea…" I joked. A twisted inside joke, but a joke nonetheless.

"Anna! You coming to Jack's?" Alex had arrived and was stood to one side of Jack. I nodded in response.

"I have to go, but I'll call you later, okay?" Queenie said, really only aiming at Alex.

"Uh, sure…" Alex looked uncomfortable and wouldn't look her in the eye. Queenie turned to glare at me before she sauntered off to her own car. Jack was smirking at the back of Alex's head.

"She still, uh…" Jack didn't get to finish his sentence.

"Yep," Alex sighed.

"Shall we go? Annaliese, I'll ride along with you so I can show you where to go." Clearly I was missing something, but I thought it best to not ask questions.

"Sure, that'd be helpful."

"See you guys in a bit then." Alex got into his car, which was already parked next to mine after our encounter that morning.

"Shall we?" Jack extended an arm towards my car. I nodded and pressed the 'unlock' button on my keys. By the time I had started the car, Alex had already left so my chances of tailing him were gone, but when Jack gave me the address, I realised I knew that particular area pretty well.

"You'll love my mom. My family are Lebanese, and my parent's accents might take a bit of getting used to. I've got a brother and sister too, but they're not home much. They're both in college. We'll probably order a pizza for dinner or something." Jack didn't stop talking the whole twenty minute journey. I don't think he noticed that I didn't say a word the whole time.

When we pulled up outside Jack's house, Alex's car was already parked outside but he was nowhere to be seen. I parked behind him and followed Jack inside.

"Hey Mom, I'm home!" he called out. A blonde woman who looked more like Jack than I had expected stepped out into the hallway.

"Ah, hello Jack! Who is your friend? Your very pretty friend!" she smiled a friendly and welcoming smile in my direction and I couldn't help but blush from her compliment. You can probably guess, I don't get complimented often, if ever. She looked back at Jack as if she expected him to tell her I was his girlfriend or something.

"Oh, this is Annaliese! We're in a group with Alex for this music assignment thing."

"Someone say my name?" Alex stepped out from the same doorway Jack's mom had emerged from. In one hand was a fork, and in the other was a plate with a considerably large slice of apple pie on.

"Stealing our food again?" Jack accused. Alex just smiled, his cheeks filled with apple pie like a hamster.

"A music project, you say? Well, you know the rules for loud music in this house, Jack." She pointed down at the floor. I was a little confused.

"Yeah, yeah, we're going!" Jack started to walk through the doorway Alex and his mom had walked through.

"Nice to meet you, Mrs Barakat." I smiled at her as I started to follow Jack's path.

"And you, dear. Help yourself to the apple pie on the counter and there are some sodas in the fridge. Jack will show you where." She aimed a friendly wink at me and walked through a different doorway.

"Okay, thank you!" I called after her. When I followed Jack I realised we were stood in the kitchen.

"So you understood what she was saying through her accent?"

"Jack, she's really not that difficult to understand. I think that's just you being insecure." Alex put my thoughts into words for me. I nodded along with him.

"Ah. Well, shall we crack on?" Jack opened the door to what looked like a pantry, but was apparently a staircase leading down to the basement. He flicked on a light and ushered me down the wooden staircase, Alex following behind.

The room didn't look like your typical basement. In the far left corner, there was a blue couch and TV with games consoles plugged into it. In the far left corner was a pool table, and in the rest of the space was a band set up, with a drum kit, microphones, amps and guitars. It looked like a man cave.

"This, dear Annaliese, is my cave… OF WONDERS!" Jack dramatically twirled in the space at the bottom of the stairs.

"Oh shut up, Aladdin." Alex walked back him, playfully hitting him in the stomach. He sank into the blue couch. I stayed put, feeling awkward. I always did in someone else's house. Alex looked up at me and patted the space net to him in an invitation to sit down. I obliged, but sat on the edge of the couch rather than relaxing into it like Alex had. Jack sat on the ground in front of us after collecting a beautiful blue acoustic guitar from the stage set up.

"So which blink song should be cover?" Jack asked.

"I'm really feeling the 'Take Off Your Pants And Jacket' album for this," Alex suggested. I stayed quiet. I didn't mind what we covered. If blink-182 wrote it, I loved it, so I let them dispute it between themselves. They ended up picking one of my favourites; 'Anthem Part 2'.

"Anna, you got a good voice?" Alex turned to me. I shrugged. "Jack, play Anthem Part 2." Jack did as he was told, playing an acoustic rendition of the song. I took this as Alex testing me and wanting to hear my voice, so I took a deep breath, and started to sing on my cue.

Strangely enough, singing to people didn't frighten me as much as you may think, even with all my anxieties. It was one of the only things I was kind of confident about. I knew I could sing. I didn't make myself out to be the next Beyoncé with an incredible set of pipes, but I could at least sing in tune…

When I had finished, silence fell. What must have only been a few seconds felt like minutes. The boys both looked at each other and grinned like Cheshire cats.

"You're singing!" they both chimed in unison. I looked down in my lap to hide my smile. A small confidence boost is always welcome.

"I've never heard a soulful, slow, acoustic version of that song before. You have a beautiful voice, Anna. Truly…" Alex added. He kept his gaze on me, smiling sweetly. I guess he knew that a small confidence boost would do me the world of good after what I had told him…

"So Alex, we need you to learn the bass part and then adapt it to this acoustic version," Jack said, then he turned to me, "Alex doesn't usually play bass, but he's insisting on playing it for this and is going to ruin the whole thing.

"Hey, I can learn!"

"Let's hope!" Alex threw a pillow at Jack's head and narrowly missed.

Just as the conversation started to flow and I began to relax, a cell phone started to ring. The pace of my heart quickened as I thought my dad had decided I had done something horribly wrong and was summoning me home… Thankfully, it was Alex's cell.

"Oh God, it's Holly…" Alex stood up and answered the call, "Hi, Holly…" He wondered over to the basement steps on the other side of the room and sat down. When I looked back at Jack, he was shaking his head back and forth.

"She's a fucking vulture," he laughed.

"What's going on? I mean… Well, I don't mean to pry, I'm just curious…" Jack lowered his voice to a quiet murmur and leaned towards me so I could hear him.

"She won't leave him alone. She wants him. Bad. But he's just not interested because, let's face it, she's a bitch! And I'm pretty sure he like some other girl in our year, but if he does none of us have a clue who. You can never really tell with Alex. But this whole thing with Holly started when she and Alex got a little drunk at our friend Zack's 18th Birthday party. They ended up making out and now he won't let it go; thinks he's infatuated with her when really, it's her who's infatuated with him. She's so desperate it's depressing."

"Oh, I see."

"You don't like her, do you?" He seemed to guess I hadn't quite taken to her…

"Well, I feel a little intimidated by her."

"Yeah she has that effect on other girls. Don't take her shit, though. Don't let her make you feel that way. She's just a bitch. Only hangs around with us because of Alex." I looked over at him sat on the stairs listening to whatever drivel she was spouting on the other end of the line. He looked disinterested to say the least, nodding along with an "uh-huh" where necessary. When she finally let him go, he sighed with relief and wondered back over to us.

"My God, she talks so much shit. She wouldn't stop bitching about the girls in our year. Ridiculous."

"Sounds like Holly! Remember the time when…" Jack's story of Holly's bitchiness drifted into another, and another. Apparently there were many occasions where Holly had been a bitch. I just sat back, paying minimal attention.

For the rest of the evening, we just hung out. We ordered a couple of pizzas, sang and played some of our favourite songs and played a video game, or two. Well, they boys played the video games. I just sat and watched, laughing at their reactions to each other dying horribly on the battlefield.

It was around 8:50pm when I decided to call it a night and go home. Getting home early would keep my father satisfied. He thought that if I were to get home at 9:30pm on the dot, I would be "pushing my luck" and being cheeky which is a punishable offence in my house.

"I think I'm gonna take off, you guys. I have some stuff to do when I get home. Thanks for inviting me over, Jack. This was fun. Maybe we could do it again some time."

"Oh, yeah that's cool! We'll definitely do this again! Let me show you out." He started to walk out of the basement with me following behind.

"See you tomorrow, Anna!" Alex called after me.

"Sure thing, bye!" Jack and I made our way out of the house in comfortable silence. He said goodnight and waved as I drove away. For once, I had felt like my life was relatively normal. I had friends. It was new, but it was nice. I hoped it would become a regular occurrence. I was becoming more and more comfortable with the idea of having friends.

When I got home, my father was sat on the couch watching TV. I shut the door quietly as not to disrupt his program, although I knew there was no way he wouldn't hear me.

"Annaliese? You're early," she said calmly.

"Yes, sir. I thought it best I got an early night for school tomorrow." He nodded without looking away from the TV.

"Good. Before you go upstairs, I need you to take your mother up with you. When I came home from work today, she had been drinking. She passed out an hour or so ago. Put her to bed, will you? Then you may follow."

"Yes sir". I walked into the living room to see my mother on the floor, her limbs limp and heavy. I hooked my arms under hers, and began dragging her out of the way of my father.

"Did you get the assignment started?" he asked.

"Yes sir. They asked me to sing."

"Lovely." He replied, with no emotion at all. I continued to drag my mother upstairs, one step at a time. To any normal teenager, she wouldn't have seemed so heavy. She was incredibly slim and quite short, like me, but I suppose I was malnourished and weak. It almost felt like someone was pulling her feet in the opposite direction.

When I finally managed to get her into bed, she stirred a little. Her eyes flickered open momentarily and she groaned softly. She looked peaceful like this. I liked it. It was just a shame she had to have passed out due to an alarming amount of alcohol to feel this way. I tucked her in and left her alone to dream.

Once I, myself, had gotten into bed, I laid back and stared up at the ceiling. I thought about everything that had happened over the past few days… My father's attacks, being put into a group with Alex and Jack, Alex confronting me, caring like no one had before, being asked to sit with an actual group of friends at lunch, and hanging out with friends after school? This was like a dream or a teen movie. I had never had friends. I had never felt as at ease as I had that evening with Alex and Jack. It was unusual, but I liked it. Even in amongst all of the bad, there was now good too.

And I fell asleep with a smile on my face, content for the first time in years.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

"Okay so, now that it's Friday, fancy coming over again tonight to practise? You can stay later on Fridays, right?" Jack wouldn't let it drop all day.

"Jack, I have to ask my dad. I'll call him once school's out, okay?" He nodded and went back to eating his lunch.

"So, Annaliese… We didn't really get much of a chance to talk yesterday. I'm Rian, the sanest of the guys you've met so far," the kid with long-ish light brown hair said. He smirked as he did so.

"Yeah, I remember Jack said that the drum kit in his basement was yours," it was only polite to make conversation, right? Besides, I had told myself that hiding behind my anxieties and social awkwardness wouldn't get me very far in life.

"Yeah, that's right! We jam quite a lot, actually. You should hang out with us more, you seem pretty cool! I mean, you're wearing an awesome Green Day shirt so your music taste is at least decent! You could meet Zack if you came to Jack's on Saturday too! He's the bass guy, and he rides a skateboard and is pretty much the definition of awesome. You fancy it?" Wow, this kid was nice…

"Yeah, sounds good! I mean, I'd have to check with my dad first. He's kind of strict, but he should be okay with it if I ask…" Alex looked up from across the lunch table, a sympathetic look painted on his face. I ignored him and focused on Rian again, but I kept seeing him with that same look on his face all throughout lunch. I wished I could ask him to stop, but I couldn't draw attention to it. The others didn't know what Alex did.

"So… Green Day? What's your favourite album, Annaliese?" Olivia asked. I liked Olivia. She gave off a nice vibe, like she'd listen to what you had to say without judgement for hours on end, and would be genuinely interested…

"Oh, definitely Dookie. You can't beat it."

"Mine too! And I just loooooove Basket Case as a single." Olivia and I chatted about Green Day and our favourite tracks for a while. She was a sweet girl. I could see us being friends, if I put the effort in; something I was still learning to do. Queenie was there too, sat next to Alex. She was glaring at me every time I looked over at her and I could tell she kept staring even once I had turned my attention elsewhere…

When the first bell went for the end of lunch everyone dispersed and went to their lockers to grab the books for next period.

"Hey Anna! Wait up!" _Anna…_ So it was Alex calling after me. He's the only one who calls me that. I wasn't sure if I liked it or not… When I got to my locker I looked up and saw him running down the corridor towards me.

"What's up?" I said timidly… I was always unsure of what to say and how to act around people. I never relaxed; the aftermath of having a violent and erratic father for nearly 18 years.

"Are you okay? How's things at home?" He whispered.

"They're okay. My Dad hasn't lashed out since the stairs thing happened and my make-up is covering up the bruises. I think my mom's okay too… Everything's fine, Alex. You don't need to worry." I turned back to my locker to continue what I was doing, but he put his hand on my shoulder and gently spun me around, careful not to cross any lines.

"I can't help but worry, Anna. Every second you're in the house with him, you're in danger of him lashing out again. He is going to really hurt you. Or your mom…" The concern filled his face. I was very aware of how close he was to me, almost whispering so no one heard our conversation. I was extremely uncomfortable. Every time he would confront me, he'd have me cornered, somewhere I couldn't run from. "Anna if you ever want to just leave that house without him finding you, you can stay at mine. My parents would be absolutely fine with it, given the situation. And then you could come up with some kind of plan to get him arrested and put away…"

"Alex, stop. My life and the way I live it has nothing to do with you and there is no way that is even a feasible plan! Please stop this. You've barely known me a week and you think you have some kind of right to just meddle in stuff you have no idea about. Leave it alone, Alex. We're doing a music assignment together. That's all." I didn't raise my voice from a whisper, still. I had no intention of causing a scene. Alex looked like I'd just slapped him. He was so offended… He didn't tear his eyes away from mine for even a second.

"You're my friend, Anna. That's just how I see you. Some people, you just click with, and although you are very awkward and having friends is really new to you, you know you feel that too. I care about you. A lot. I do not want to see you get hurt, whether that is you tripping on the sidewalk or your dad pushing down your stairs. You can't expect me to just watch you walk into school with fresh bruises all the time and not care, and not want to save you from that," he ran the back of his fingers over my cheek, "I will give you whatever help you need, whatever I can do… I'll do it."

"You're not Clark Kent. And I'm not Lois Lane." I snatched my books out of my locker and slammed it shut before power walking down the corridor to my class as the second bell went.

By the end of the day, I wasn't mad at Alex anymore. In fact, I was beginning to think he was incredibly sweet for wanting to help me, and making that little speech about him caring about me. I got too defensive too quickly and I shouldn't have…

I had just put my bag in the boot of my car when someone tapped on my shoulder. I turned around, and Queenie was stood behind me, her hands placed threateningly on her hips. I felt like she was about to cause an argument or a scene or something… The atmosphere was horrendous.

"Hey, it's Annaliese, right?" she asked. I nodded, terrified to speak. "So I saw Alex run after you after lunch today… Everything okay? I mean, you're a pretty shy girl. You look like you have…issues." I stayed silent for a few seconds until she widened her eyes at me, as if to say "well?"

"Oh, uh… Yeah, everything's fine."

"See, I don't think it is. The way Alex is around you makes me think he likes you, and well, you hardly know him, so I thought I should fill you in. I like Alex a lot, so as a friend, it's only polite that you take a step back and let me have him. We are friends, aren't we Annaliese?" I felt obligated to nod, "Good, so…please step back. But also, you should know that Alex has picked you up and put you in our group for one reason. You clearly have issues, and Alex has obviously seen that. You emit this weird atmosphere, like you're really messed up, and he's picked up on this. But Alex probably doesn't really like you as much as you think. He sees you as charity; something to fix. He picks messed up girls like you, and turns them into his little project. He acts as if he's into you, like he wants to be with you and stuff, but it's just a front. As soon as he thinks he's fixed you, he'll drop you like a lead balloon and that will be the end of your little friendship, or whatever the hell you think you have with him. Just thought you should know." She smiled a sickeningly sweet smile, and walked away, leaving me in a pool of my own self-hatred.

Was she right? I mean… He did sort of, all of a sudden decide to befriend me… and he had been trying to meddle ever since… And there was no other reason I could possibly think of for Alex wanting to pay any attention to someone like me. Oh my God, I was his charity case…

"Hey Annaliese, you called your dad yet?" Jack had made his way over with Alex tailing him without me realising as I was evaluating my situation. I looked up at Alex and he had the expression of a puppy that had been flicked on the nose. He looked at me as if he pitied me, or like our conversation earlier got to him and he was worried I'd fly off on one again. I couldn't decide which.

"Oh, uh… Yeah I did. Sorry Jack, I can't. My Dad wants me home tonight." Before he or Alex could say anything, I hopped into my car and slammed the door, perhaps a little too hard. When I looked in my side mirror, I saw them both watching me. Jack looked confused and a little offended and Alex just looked…_sad_. I ignored them both and reversed out of my parking spot, before driving off. I could feel my eyes burning up and watering. I hadn't intended on crying, neither did I think I was emotionally invested in Alex enough to cry over him. Maybe it wasn't him. Maybe it was the fact I was being pitied and made into someone's personal project. I thought I had actually made friends…

How stupid of me. Like I had said from the very beginning; alone is where I'm safe. Reality is where people get hurt.

"Hello, Annaliese. Did you get any homework today?" My father asked from his dent in the sofa when I got through the front door.

"Uh, yes sir. I have a paper on Edgar Allan Poe due on Monday. I'll go and finish it now." My voice shook as I tried to contain sobs. I started up the stairs, but he stopped me.

"Whoa, hang on there. Are you… crying?" he turned around in his spot and squinted at me, focusing on my face. I wiped the tears away fast. Crying was a sign of weakness in this house. And weakness was not permitted. "Why are you crying?" _What the hell should I say to that?_

"Sorry sir, I know it's weak…"

"Answer the question."

"I thought I had made friends at school, but it turns out I was wrong, sir." He smacked his lips together and exhaled rather deeply.

"Annaliese, you've never been able to make friends. Not for 17 years. What makes you think you could make them now?"

"I was stupid, sir."

"Yes, you were. Go and finish your paper." He turned around again and continued whatever it was he was doing. I did as I was told and jogged up the stairs, shutting my bedroom door and collapsing onto my bed face first. I cried and sobbed into the sheets, the noise drowned out by the material.

My father was right. I hadn't made a single friend since I started nursery. Not one. Why on earth would anyone want to be my friend? Alex just pitied me, and Jack probably did too. In fact, everyone at the lunch table probably saw how emotionally fucked I was, and they were all just being nice out of pity. It was sheer benevolence. And I didn't want to be pitied. I wanted to have friends who liked me because I was funny, or interesting, or a good friend but I wasn't any of those things. I was the fucked up girl who cuts herself and turns up to school with mysterious bruises or broken bones or gashes and lacerations. Who the hell would want to be friends with _that_?

I thought it best to do the paper I had been given. I may feel awful now, but imagine how much worse I would feel after another beating… So I did as I was told, and had it finished by 6pm. My father didn't call me down for anything, and neither did my mother. I wasn't sure where she was. I hadn't seen or heard from her since I got home. But I was left alone. Alone is fine. Alone protects me.

But now I had a whole weekend at home of treading on eggshells, terrified to slip up.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

"Annaliese!" my father shouted up the stairs at me. I was just drying my hair after having an early shower that Saturday morning. I quickly shut off the hairdryer and jogged to the top of the stairs.

"Yes, sir?"

"Come down here. Your mother and I want to talk to you." And by that he meant he wanted to talk to me and my mother was going to sit quietly while he did so. I nodded back at him and made my way down into the living room. My mom was sat on the couch and my father had positioned himself on the arm of the couch, next to her. I stood in front them both and waited.

"Your mother and I are leaving this afternoon, and going to California for the week. We will be back on Friday. Now, while we are gone I expect you to clean and cook for yourself. I do not want to see anything out of place when we get back. You may not have the boys you are working with from school over here. You are not to go to their houses either. If I am not around to keep an eye on you, Lord knows what you will get up to. We will leave you with enough money to do the weekly grocery shop and for lunch money at school. If I hear anything other than what I have just said, you will be in serious trouble. Do you understand?"

"Yes, sir."

"Good." He gestured towards the door, which meant that I was allowed to leave, and I did so quickly. I tried so hard to contain my smile that was forming as I walked away. Once a year, they always did this. My father would drag my mother across the country to another state, and I would be left alone all week. He started doing this when I was just 8 years old, but it was a God send.

As I got back into my room and shut the door, I smiled the most genuine smile I'd smiled in months. I could have cried, I was so happy. I could act like a normal person for a few days.

My hair was still damp, so I went back over to my mirror and continued to dry my hair. I stared at my reflection, smiling back at myself. My black eye had turned a lighter shade of purple with yellow spots around it, and the lump on my head had shrunk slightly. I wasn't looking so beat up, but I definitely looked tired. Dark bags sagged under my eyes. I hadn't had that much sleep the previous night. I had stayed up, unable to drift off, just crying for hours on end. About everything. I let everything out and sobbed into a pillow. I suppose, I was more upset about being a charity case than anything else when it started, but then I began drowning in my own tears and thoughts and before I knew it, I was not only sobbing, I was slicing into my wrist again.

As I thought about the previous night, the new smile on my face faded. I knew it was only temporary. It always is. I had just hoped it would last more than three minutes…

I turned off the hairdryer and put it down on my desk. My eyes drifted over to my long sleeved shirt, and I rolled my sleeve up to my elbow. The lacerations littered my already scarred skin. They were brutal and deep, still incredibly sore. One of them - the deepest - had started to bleed again after I got out of the shower. I ran my fingers over them, tracing them as the sadness welled up inside me. The cuts from the beginning of the week had scabbed over, only now starting to heal. They looked ghastly.

I had a roll of bandages in my sock drawer that I would always use after I'd hurt myself badly, so I took them out and wrapped one over my forearm. It stung a little, but that was to be expected.

I needed a distraction, to take my mind away from the crippling sadness within it, and considering I had finished any homework I had, the only thing I could think of was to play guitar. I was never sure why, but playing guitar was the one thing my father was okay with. In fact, the one good memory I have with him was from when I was 14. He had heard me playing from downstairs, and when he came upstairs I stopped immediately, thinking he was going to punish me for playing too loud. But instead, he walked into my room without uttering a single word, sat down in front of me on my bed, and rolled his hand in a gesture that meant "carry on". So I did. I played all kinds of songs for him, singing along too. I knew he liked Queen and AC/DC, so I played a lot of their songs for him, and he sat and listened. He never said a word.

To anyone else, that would seem a pretty dull memory, but to me, it was the happiest one I had with my father.

I decided playing a few Queen songs would actually be a nice idea, so I rolled my sleeve down over the fresh bandage and picked up my guitar, sitting down on the edge of my bed. After a few songs, I heard his footsteps on the stairs. Living in the same house for almost 18 years gives you the advantage of knowing who is walking up the stairs by the individual creaks of certain floorboards, and how loud said creaks are.

I continued to play an acoustic rendition of "One Vision" as his footsteps grew louder. They stopped outside my bedroom door and waited until I had finished the song, and then they continued into my parent's room. The corner of my mouth twitched into a smile. He had stopped to listen. That in itself was a huge sign of approval. There was something my dad was interested in about my life. He wasn't just a monster.

* * *

"We'll see you when you get home from school on Friday, okay sweetie?" my mum had my face held in her hands, holding me in that motherly way, like she was worried about leaving me.

"Yeah, okay. I'll be fine, Mom. Really." I smiled to reassure her, and she dropped her hands, smiling back at me.

"I know you will be," she pulled me into a hug and whispered into my ear. "Enjoy your time alone. He'll be back sooner than you think, so enjoy it, okay?" I nodded. She understood. She got it. She wasn't allowed time away from him, so she knew how valuable this time would be to me.

Dad walked down the stairs as we broke apart, a big black suitcase in one hand filled with not only his, but mom's clothes too. She wasn't allowed to pack, or pick what to take. That was controlled by him.

"Annaliese, I've changed my mind; you may go to these boys' houses to study, and study only. Hearing you play earlier made me realise that actually, music is important to you, and therefore this assignment is important to you."

I was shocked. Since when did he care what was important to me?

"Thank you, sir. I really appreciate that."

"Good. We'll see you on Friday."

"Yes, sir." He and my mother left through the front door, and I stood in the doorway to wave them off. The further down the road they drove, the more relief washed over me, and the more freedom I felt.

* * *

"_Hey mom, there's something in the back room. Hope it's not them creatures from above…" _I sang along to Aliens Exist by blink as I sketched alone in my room. My stomach interrupted, rumbling loudly. I thought it best I check the contents of the kitchen before my stomach's protests became unbearable.

As far as I could see, we had nothing in. I, of course, was in charge of grocery shopping for the week, so I had to go at some point. _Perhaps I should go now_, I thought to myself, _rather than let myself starve until tomorrow._ So I jogged upstairs, shut off my music, threw on some tatty, old Converse and grabbed my car keys from my desk.

For a Saturday afternoon, the local grocery store was surprisingly quiet. I wondered down aisle after aisle with my shopping cart, picking out the odd box of this, and packet of that. I bought a few of the regular things my mom would come home with, but replaced a few things with a couple of treats for myself, like a tub of ice cream or a bar of chocolate; things I very rarely get. This was _my_ week. And I could do anything I liked, as long as I destroyed the evidence.

As I turned down the 5th aisle in the store, I stopped to pick out a cereal that _I_ wanted to eat, rather than the bran crap my father made me eat. Lucky Charms. Why the hell not, right?

"Anna?" _Oh, shit…_

I looked up and saw Alex with a basket in his left hand and a half smile on his face. I guessed the expression on my face was far from happy.

"Oh, uh… Hi, Alex," I tried to turn away as fast as I could to go down the next aisle and away from him, but he stopped me.

"Whoa, hey…Have I done something wrong?" when I looked back at his face, he looked concerned, almost scared of an answer. I didn't want him to know that I knew about his motives, but at the same time, how could I go on pretending everything was okay? What the hell should I say to him?

"I just…Um…Need to get home…" I turned to go down the next aisle, quickly whipping through the rest of the store before heading to the checkout. Alex was hot on my heels the whole time, at first asking what was wrong, over and over, but he eventually gave up when he realised I wouldn't answer and followed me quietly. I just wish he didn't follow me at all.

When I paid for the items in my cart he paid for his at the checkout next to mine. He finished first, and came over to help me pack, still not saying a word. I let him. I mean, I couldn't exactly shout at him in the middle of the grocery store… He helped me with the bags all the way out to my car, and sat on the edge of the trunk, stopping me from shutting it. He folded his arms and crossed his feet, staring up at me expectantly.

"…What?"

"So what's up? Why are you suddenly so… I don't know, cold around me? Ever since we spoke in the hall yesterday, you just seem to be avoiding me. Did I piss you off that much? Because I'm sorry, if I did…I really am," he asked, the same puppy dog expression on his face that he had at the end of school yesterday.

"Well, you did piss me off, but you already know that so I don't understand why you're asking that…"

"So what can I do to show you I'm sorry? I just want to be friends again, and it's not fair on Jack either 'cause he really digs you too, it's not just me. And Olivia and Rian like you too…"

"Alex I just don't do friends, okay?" The tone of my voice was blunt and a little harsh. I regretted the way I said that as soon as the words rolled off my tongue, but I needed him to realise…

"Why not? What are you scared of, Anna? Friends help each other. Friends have fun. Friends are there for each other. Friends are so important."

"Cut it out, I know exactly why you want to be my friend Alex and I do not want to be your pet project!" He flinched backwards slightly, his thick eyebrows furrowing in genuine confusion.

"Pet project?" he stood up, moved closer to me, and put both of his hands just below my shoulders. "What on earth made you think you were some kind of pet project?"

"Well, Holly said that…"

"Holly said what?" he interrupted me, leaning back and sighing as if to say _I should have guessed…_

"Well first she tried to tell me to back off, like you were her property or something, it was really weird. She seems to think that you like me as like… well, y'know…" he stared at me quietly, waiting to hear the rest, "and then she said that you only brought me into your group because I 'have issues' and you've noticed I'm really 'messed up'," I made air quotes with my fingers as I spoke, "and that you want to fix me. Apparently you'd act like you were into me and stuff and then once I'm supposedly fixed, you'd drop me again. She called me charity…"

H dropped his hands from my arms and sat on the edge of the trunk again. He buried his face in his hands.

"Was she telling the truth?" I asked, my voice shaking a little. My cheeks had become hot and probably red, and my eyes were stinging as if I was about to cry. He looked up very suddenly, slapping his hands on his knees.

"No. She was not. She is a manipulative bitch, Anna. She is so threatened by you that she just cannot handle that we're friends."

"Why would she be threatened by me?"

"Oh come on, you're beautiful, and you're not a bitch. Of course she's threatened by you. You're everything she's not, and that's good. Listen, Anna…" he stood up and faced me again, "you are not charity. You are not my project. You are not messed up," I scoffed aloud, "Okay, you're a little messed up," he smirked and I couldn't help but smile too, "but as your friend, it's my job to care about you, and try to make you feel better. I will fix this, okay? I'll tell Holly to shut the fuck up and set the record straight. It's about time I did. She needs to know that I can't stand her and I don't want to be with her." I nodded in silent agreement. "So, are we okay now?" he raised his eyebrows and held both of my hands in his.

"Yeah…Yeah, we're okay. I'm sorry I thought you were like that… What she said just kind of made sense. I had been wondering why you had suddenly decided to be my friend, and I was kind of upset about what happened in the hall…"

"Oh, yeah about that, I'm sorry I keep pressuring you like this. I should be supporting your decisions rather than trying to force you into making one. That's what friends do." He smiled down at me, my hands still in his. "I won't keep you any longer. You said you needed to get home, right?"

"Well, actually, I don't. I was just trying to run away from you. My parents have gone on vacation until Friday." Suddenly a huge cheeky grin spread across his face. "What?"

"So, you're not busy? Just shopping?"

"Yeah…"

"Cool. Drop your shit at home; we're going to Jack's." He picked up his bag from the floor and put it in the trunk with the rest of mine.

"W-what about your car?"

"Oh, I walked here. I was picking up some soda and chips and stuff to take with me. Remember Rian said we were having band practise at lunch yesterday? Well, you're invited. You can hang out, eat good food, stay over perhaps, get a little drunk… It'll be fun. Let's go!" he walked around to the passenger side of my car and hopped in. I just decided to go with it, so I shut the trunk and got in the car. Alex was shuffling through my CDs as I turned the key in the ignition. He picked out a Bowling For Soup album and turned the volume up.

"You're gonna have some fun while your parents are away," he shouted over the top of the music, and smiled cheekily at me. I smiled back and began reversing.

_Yeah, _I thought to myself_. I deserve to have some fun._


End file.
